Giving in Generosity

By Lelanda Lee

I remember reading a story about a New York City police officer who saw a homeless man resting on the sidewalk with no shoes in the middle of winter. The officer felt compassion for the man on the sidewalk and went into a store to buy a pair of boots for the barefooted man. A day later the officer encountered the man again, but he was not wearing his new boots. I wonder what the officer felt when he saw that his generous heartfelt gift wasn’t used for its intended purpose. Did it change that officer’s generosity going forward?

My Aunt Rose sent me a birthday gift of a blouse and skirt set that was dazzling in its beauty. It was covered in giant blue roses on a white background, and it turned out to be too big for 8-year old me. My mother, who didn’t have any money to spare, despaired on learning of the life threatening illness of her aunt in Hong Kong. So Mom sent the blouse and skirt set to Hong Kong so that her aunt could be buried in new clothes, which is a cultural custom that honors the dead. I wonder what Aunt Rose felt when I innocently told her what Mom did when asked if I liked my birthday gift. I wonder what my aunt felt when she learned her gift to me had been given away? Were her feelings hurt?

Giving is an act of generosity for which we typically don’t expect any payback—not even a “thank you” in many cases. We give out of heartfelt desire, like my aunt loving me and the police officer feeling compassion. We give out of our abundance, whether it is out of our “extra” or when budget adjustments must be made to pay for the gift. My mother gave out of a desire to be included in the observance of a family member’s impending death. 

Yet, as humans, we are easily offended and our feelings get hurt when we believe someone has perverted our gifts by misusing them in an unintended way. A gift given with expectations attached regarding the recipient’s behavior is not actually much of a gift. How many times have we heard someone say, “They don’t deserve anything nice, because they don’t take care of their things.”?

Scripture teaches us that "Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." [2 Corinthians 9:7 NRSV] Scripture reminds us that a gift, after it has been given, no longer is under the control of the giver. The gift is given to bring joy, relief, and succor to the recipient. A child’s eyes light up at a new donated backpack. A son arrives in time for Grandma’s funeral because of the gift of a bus ticket. A parent relaxes for a moment knowing the groceries they’ve received will last till the next unemployment deposit. 

Our personal generosity is related to how we respond to God’s generosity to us—something we call God’s Grace. Just as God does not judge our worthiness in order for us to be recipients of God’s Grace, so, too, are we invited into Jesus’ example of giving healing and comfort to those who may not use the gifts as intended. Generosity is more than just being generous with your money and the gifts money can buy. Generosity is also being generous with your attitude—suspending judgment of the other and relinquishing control over what we give. Generosity is the action part of Loving Our Neighbor as Ourselves.